Emotions

Sometimes I feel like life is all one big joke set upon us by some creatures or creature wanting to see what would happen if they did X.

The emotions that I have been feeling lately are so strong and all consuming, it makes me wonder why it seems that no other animals share in these emotions? As humans, are we really the only animals on this planet that have the capacity for "higher thought"? Is it because we think that we experience these overwhelmingly powerful emotions? Perhaps emotions are natures way of trying to keep us in check and not let our thoughts stray us to far away from what we are meant to do in life. But then again, what purpose do we have other then to procreate? Every other problem we, as humans, face is simply manufactured by our own thoughts and actions in our never-ending quest to live better lives.

I have seen dogs in the midst of fear. I have seen cats become angry. I have never seen another animal in the thralls of pain, suffering, anguish and sadness of the likes that we as humans experience from time to time. I would like to think that if we are the only animals that experience this sort of mental pain, then perhaps we are also blessed with positive feelings of emotion that other animals could never even dream of experiencing. If this is true, then would it not be a fair assumption to think that there are emotions that exist outside the realm of human thought and understanding that we will never know or experience? Even if there were such emotions, I do not know if I would want them. Ignorance is truly bliss and animals seem at peace in their bliss without human emotion. I find myself thinking that I would want the tranquility of life that animals seem to experience. Animals seem perfectly content going about their days, following their instincts, free of the thoughts that plague the human mind. It almost seems like the perfect life... Almost, except for one tiny detail. If living as an animal meant that I did not have the capacity to love, would I want to be an animal? Knowing now what love is and what love feels like, I would have to say no. That means that I would freely take all this emotional pain, suffering, agony and sadness that I have been experiencing for the last couple of weeks, months and years of my life if only to have just a little taste of love once more. This notion almost seems obsessive, but if I were to be obsessed with one thing I suppose love would be the best choice.

Is love an emotion that only us human animals experience or is there something similar that other animals go though. There is certainly courtship in nature that other animals experience; some animals are mates for life. Do these animals experience a form of love or even the same form of love that we as humans know? If the answer to that question were yes, then it would be possible that they could and may also experience all the emotions that we do. How would we ever know?

How do we truly know what another animal is thinking or feeling. For that matter, how do we know what another person is feeling? I can try and relate through words what my feelings are like, but I could never make someone else feel that which I do. In that case, how could we ever compare one persons feelings to another? Can we ever really understand what another person or creature is going through emotionally or physically? I can fall down and scrape my knee and feel the pain that is caused by that injury. Another person could fall down and have the exact same injury, but do we feel the same amount of pain? Surely we both feel a sense of pain; our bodies are telling us that there is a problem and that we have hurt ourselves. Is it not possible though that the amount of pain an individual experiences differs from person to person? The amount of pain that I feel when my knee is scraped could be comparable to the same feeling of pain someone else gets when their knee is broken. As humans, we all know what pain and pleasure feels like, but we can never really know the intensity of anothers pain or pleasure. We simply assume that it is comparable, or the exact same, as we experienced and have come to know.

Before I knew what love was, or felt like, I would ask people about it in order to try and understand what this thing called love was all about. Everyone had a different version of love and what love was. No one had the same answer, if they could answer at all. In fact, what love was for one person was completely different then love for another. Yet, we all use the same word to describe a feeling that differs from person to person. How can we effectively communicate with one another when a single word has so many different meanings for so many different people? Love is probably the most perplexing and complex of all the emotions that we as humans experience, but that is not to say that perhaps there are other emotions that we may have trouble communicating about with each other simply because we do not have the same definitions of what these words mean and what feelings they are associated to.

For myself, I find that sadness, anger and depression are very difficult to differentiate between, even within my own mind. Recently, I have been experiencing a lot more anger in my life then I am used to. I do believe that this anger is directly related to all the other emotions that I have been experiencing. I am reacting to things with anger that should not evoke anger, and yet it does. I find myself questioning if it really is anger I am dealing with or some other emotion that is manifesting itself as anger. How then am I supposed to communicate these feelings to others, when I am not even sure what emotion I am experiencing?

If life is just a big joke played on us, then whomever the mastermind of my joke is must be having a laugh. I hope it is a good laugh; one of those laughs that really take you out of life and into another realm. With luck, one day I too will be able to reread this blog post and experience the same thing.
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On a side note: I would like to thank everyone that has helped and supported me with their words of encouragement and enlightenment through these weird times of my life. I am extremely fortunate to have so many people that love and care for me. Thank you.