Here are some pictures of me that some of the other volunteers took. I think they explain fairly well what has been keeping me occupied during the workcamp in Germany:
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| Germany |
For quite a long while now there has been this looming question in my mind: When and under what circumstances will I be able to enter into China?
China has always been a place that I have wanted to travel to ever since I was very young. So, in a way, a trip to China has been a long time coming. I felt very disheartened that it seemed like I was going to need to travel back to America in order to obtain a tourist visa in order to get into China. After a lot of phone calls, questions, bookings and aimless wanderings through the streets of London in search for a way to get a Chinese visa, I am happy to say that I have secured it, finally. In fact, I will have more time in China then I thought I was going to be allowed. I have a double entry visa, meaning I can enter into China twice between now and February. Each time I enter the mainland of China I will have 60 days to visit. In other words, I have a visa that is good for 4 months of time in China since all I need to do is go to Hong Kong and then turn right around and come straight back. This is quite exciting, considering I thought the best I was going to be able to pull off (if I was going to be able to get a visa in the first place) was a 1 month stay. So this is a wonderful turn of events and I am quite excited about it. On top of that, since I already had to book flights into and out of China in order to secure a visa, I do not have to now worry and contemplate making travel arrangements.
I am certainly going to use the flight that I already booked to get into China, however, the flight that I booked leaving China I will most likely need to cancel or change. Thankfully, I found a carrier that will refund my ticket completely upon cancellation. If I end up changing to a different flight, if that flight happens to be more expensive than the first booking, then I will only need to pay the difference in the cost. The flight in question is from Hong Kong to Japan. I do want to see Japan at some point, but I will probably not head there on the day that I happened to book.
On September 13th I will be flying to Beijing. The instructions for turning in an application for a Chinese visa was very specific and stated that I needed to provide "flight" details in and out of China. I did not want to leave any chance of having my application rejected so I booked flights instead of booking a train ride on the Trans-Siberian Railway like I had always intended. This has certainly made things easier, but I am a bit disappointed I will not be able to experience the train. I am quite relieved though that I do not need to deal with obtaining a Russian visa as well. From what I have read and heard, those visas are even more difficult to obtain and are much more restrictive then Chinese visas. My first thought about how I would leave China involved me on a ferry to Japan. I was quite excited by this prospect, but again did not want to stray from the very precise directions of the visa application instructions. Also, there was no way for me to prove that I had reservations on a ferry leaving China with most companies I found.
Being in Beijing so soon after the conclusion of the 2008 Olympics will be an interesting experience. I think I am going to spend a few nights in Beijing so that I may check things out. I want to see some of the buildings that were constructed for the Olympics and just explore around in general. I was made to book a hotel stay for the purpose of getting a visa. It was not difficult finding a relatively cheap hotel in Beijing, however, I am thinking that it will probably be more of an experience to my liking if I stayed in a hostel rather than a hotel. I am still contemplating and considering this. In either case, I should not be out any money because my hotel reservations are fully refundable as well. After a few days in Beijing I will be headed straight for Jiaozhou where the volunteer project is located that I am interested in.
I have been communicating back and forth with one of the main people at the volunteer site over the past several weeks. It seems that once I am in the country on a tourist visa, it should not be very difficult to get me set up with a work visa. In which case, I could be in China for much longer than 4 months if I choose to do so. Then again, there are also some very inexpensive flights from China, Thailand, Japan to Australia or New Zealand. Who knows what the future holds. I am quite excited for my trip to China though.
A week from tomorrow I will be getting a on train in London heading for Paris. Life, again, is about to change. I have grown accustomed to life here at my cousin's in Seaton, England. Things here are quiet (except for the occasional pigeon that will not stop hooting), safe, and relaxing. Well, it is a relaxing environment anyway. My mind is rarely ever relaxed.
Being able to come and live in a new place for as long as I have has been a wonderful experience. I have been able to participate in things that I never dreamed I would be able to partake in. I have invested a lot of time into making Jerry and Charlotte's house function better and I hope to one day be able to look at the finished product of their home and all the projects that have started or will be starting someday soon. Working very closely with Jerry on his test which he has such a passion for has been a rewarding undertaking. The test is coming along quite nicely I feel and I am excited to see what the future of the test will bring. All of my numerous stays in London have been great. I find that London can be a great place to just walk around in; even if there is nothing you intend to do, walking London you see so many things and many different faces (most of them international). The last time I was in London I must have been giving off an impression that I live there because many people kept stopping and asking me how to get to this place or that. Amazingly, I knew exactly what they were talking about and how they should get there. I felt as though I was back home working in a police uniform once more. It was at that point I think I realized that I had been here in this country for to long and that perhaps I have overstayed my welcome.
When I first arrived here in the UK, I had no intention to stay as long as I have. I figured I would be here at the most 2 months. After leaving to go on a tour of Scotland and Ireland I made the connection that something was wrong and I was not doing what I wanted to be doing. Yes, I was traveling; yes I was seeing and doing things that I had never done before, but I was not happy doing it. I felt lost, confused and alone with no answers and no escape. The prospect of coming back to Seaton sounded better and better every day that went by when I was up north. And so I returned to my cousins and to the projects that I had left uncompleted. I can now leave Seaton feeling somewhat satisfied with the amount of things I have gotten done in my time here.
Besides the last few days, emotionally, I feel have made progress in the recent past. I think I am on the right track to something good...not really sure what that good thing is. I am currently in Seaton by myself. Jerry is down in London. The day that he left things fell apart in my head. It has been a rough few days. I keep thinking about how I felt when I was traveling in Scotland and primarily Ireland. I cannot help this feeling of dread that I will experience the same thing again once I leave here on my way to Paris. I would like to think that things will be different this time around; that I am more prepared or something like that. I don't know...I suppose we will see what happens. Certainly this time will be different because I am heading to Germany where I will volunteer for 2 weeks. After that, things are still up in the air regarding where I will go next, but I am dedicated to getting to China. I will be applying for a tourist visa for entry into China this Tuesday. Fingers crossed, Wednesday I will have a visa in hand. In which case I will be flying into China on September 13th.
One of things that I have come to understand is that I feel as though I have no purpose in life at the moment. I have no reason for being here, and by here I mean life in general. I think this is one of the contributing factors to why I felt as I did when I was traveling Scotland and Ireland and why I feel like I do now. There has only been two times in my life that I can say that I truly felt like I had purpose and reason for being here. First was police explorers and second was Irene. Being here in Seaton has allowed me to feed off of my cousin's purpose. His passion has fueled my drive, but it is not my passion, my reason, my purpose. Now that drive has ended and my brain is again left to ponder the future and the big IF that has been on my mind for a long time now. Will I ever again find that thing that gives me my own fuel, my own passion, my own purpose? I suppose if I had no fear of not finding it then it would not really matter if I find it or not. I do carry that fear, however.
In other news, one of my credit card numbers was stolen and used for purchases in Florida. It is a good thing I caught this now because it is much easier for me to deal with this stuff while I have a base to work from rather than dealing with it on the road in hostels or internet cafes. It is much better to make phone calls to America when I do not have to worry about how much time I have left before I get kicked off the computer. My bank has cancelled my card and has issued me a new one, but cannot send it overseas. Thankfully, my parents are being kind enough to help as the middlemen in the transaction of getting me my new card. The only problem is: I do have another credit/debit card that I can use to get money, although I have not tried it here in the UK. I am also not 100% sure I remember the pin number. It might just so happen that I will have no money except for what is on me until I get to Germany. Amazingly, this is not stressing me out. In fact I am somewhat indifferent to it all. I know that it will all work out somehow or another. If only I had that same feeling when it came to my travels in general...or more importantly, my life.
It is upsetting to me that I am missing out on so much in my friends and families lives. I am missing getting to see my nephew and niece grow up and change. I just hope that when I do return I will be able to cultivate strong meaningful relationships with them even though I have been absent from their lives. I am missing out on friends and family members weddings. Today is my friend Jonathan's wedding day. I already missed my cousin V's wedding. I am glad I got to see pictures from it though. It looks like it was a wonderful day and I was sad to have missed it. Missing important events like this causes conflict in me, but I guess not enough to get me to come home though. It now looks as though I will miss the birth of the next child to be christened a Burgess come September. I have missed both the birth of Daniel and Laela which I now look back and wish I had the foresight to have made a better decision with regards to being there.
